Just like what the title says, I'm really stressed up between family & studies...

Because of my dad nagging at me every day, I couldn't submit my assignments on time for 2 classes in my previous term for feeling very stressed up and in despair! Really, sometimes his nagging can really pierce through me, making me feel depressed and stressed. It'll probably happen again in this term too, and that's what I'm really worried about right now. I'll have to repeat those classes again and say goodbye to some of my college mates that are on my good side. I won't be seeing most of them anymore because next year begins our major course, in Semester 3. That's when we go on our separate ways.

Seriously, I really wish to live in an accommodation given by the college so that I may have a decent college life and concentrate my work better. What got me thinking this way was because I can never have my own peace in my own room at home, even for a day. It's always "Alex this", "Alex that". I'm sick and tired of being a servant to people, just like how my EX-maid treated me, even giving me that damn attitude of hers. I'm treated like a servant than my other siblings because I'm very reliable among my siblings and never go against my parents' will (not so much anyway). I really wish to be appreciated more. I wonder how they'll go on without me at home. But sadly, I'm not allowed to live on my own, I'll always be like a bird trapped in a cage. But I really want to persuade them, even if I have to be fierce at them. Although it's not in my nature to be angry most of the time, I'll probably have to be firm at them soon...

And ever since my parents quit their jobs (probably because of that economy crisis that happened last year), my mum bought a license to open up a legal lottery business store (it's a long story...). I actually knew about it because I was the one printing the documents for her from her emails. Yes, both of my parents aren't the computer/technology type of people, especially my dad. He's terrible with technology and gadgets, except driving...

But during the day I went to my hometown (which was last Saturday), there was this big fuss going on. I can't say for sure, but my relatives were talking about my mum's lottery business, that the money used for the license was all GONE or MISUSED (I don't have the full details). At first I heard it was around $20,000 from my sis but it got worse. My dad told me that it was actually around $59,000! WHAT THE HECK?! What was my mum thinking?! All that MONEY went down the drain just like that! What about my college fees? D=<

*sigh* I really don't know what will become of my family. At this rate, I have no choice but to delay my studies to help my family around the house, perhaps become their personal maid or something (I'm already considered one anyway, but I guess getting an outfit like that would suit me better ). My dad can never stop nagging at me to help around the house, which I always do but he never realized it. I really want to pursue my studies, but family is much more important. I'm in a real bind right now, I really don't know what I should do...

~ Alex

I really appreciate the times I've spent with my DA friends, more than people in real life.

I've recently started to care less about my college "Mates", they were never much of "Friends" status to me. I was mostly treated like a nobody (and in this case, my real life "friends" too). Even my first college "Mate" (used to be "Friend") has changed dramatically towards me. People are all the same in my country, they'll just neglect me like I'm a nobody because I'm very different than them in a high level of communication. I... I just wish I was somewhere else than here, somewhere I belong. The world is changing rapidly, it'll never be those times I had years back when the world wasn't as corrupted as of now.

And what my heart truly says... is that I despise my so-called "Friends"! I don't want to hear any crap about them anymore. At least people in DA treats me like a somebody!

I don 't expect people to understand what I'm going through, I've only come back to rant what I really feel about people, both in DA and real life...

~ Alex

Well it's that time again. I have to leave for a while because of college work. It seems that it's because of this that's making me sidetracked from my college work. I have to get serious this time to make up for the couple of classes that I... well... nevermind

I just hope people will read this to know that I'll be gone for a while

~ Alex

Like the title says. My first term of my second semester is finished, but I can't say I'm all happy about it. I'm still feeling guilty about something...

Oh well, I just hope my mind won't fall on me again. I've come this far, I can't give up now. I have to get serious in the next term. I might as well enjoy my break as much as I can because the second term will be much more work

Alex, over and out!

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... but I'll try to keep up with any updates. I don't want to miss out anything important, but college is important to me, too . Now is currently my mid-term phase, which is the hard working and stressing part in college life for each term (4 terms a year). Right now, I'm busy with assignments and final projects, like my Fantasy Story book project; I have to draw 10 illustrations and create a small clay model of the main character, and my Photoshop class' final project; an artwork about my inner self using Photoshop elements and own designs. They do sound interesting, but there's a lot of work and time for it as well so I have to lay off from DA than usual. It'll probably be until mid September so it's gonna be a while for me

Anyway, if anyone is interested about me or wants to be my friend. I'm not the type of person who willingly trusts people so easily, I actually judge them by their actions and characteristics (no offense ). To tell the truth, years back I was hurt many times before for being so naive and overly trusting to people (and probably still am), now I've grown to be more secure about myself towards people. My heart would only open to those who I think I can trust

I've got some tips that would help:
1. *MAIN RULE* Do not request me to draw anything, especially if that person is a complete stranger or someone I'm not close with yet. Friends are an exception though
2. Need to know each other for at least half a year, that way I may reconsider

I hope that helps. And don't worry, I'm very merciful towards people so no pressure, alright ? But I don't want to sound so demanding about people...

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